Love, Marriage, Mother, Parenting

Cocks on the Wall

It seems like Colt is learning a new word every day.

Most recently, he learned the word “clock”.

Unfortunately, the “L” sound is one of the harder sounds to master.

We were out to dinner. Excited to share his new word, Colt pointed to the wall and yelled enthusiastically, COCK! COCK!

If we had been at the Golden Corral, no one would have noticed, but because we were at a nicer restaurant, chairs turned. Everyone stared.

I smiled at everyone and said, “Yes, honey! Clock. There’s a C-l-o-c-k on the wall over there. Good job!”

Dinner resumed. But Colt, so proud of his new word was nodding his head and now pointing to my watch. “Mommy! Cock!”

“Mommy! See that …Cock! See that Cock!”

I reminded him that if he was going to talk about cocks, he needed to use his inside voice.

The evening reminded me of a story my mother tells (of what must have been one of the most embarrassing nights of her life.)

I was 3 years old and living with two very scientific parents (my mother a botanist, my father a plant breeder). Instead of “pee pee” or “burping” or “barfing”, my parents were referencing “urination”, “belching” and “vomiting.”

At a nice dinner one evening, my dad asked me to share (with their guests) the new word I’d learned that day. Thinking I was going to say “possibility”, I can only imagine the horror…when I enthusiastically said… Bowel Movement!

Ah, Karma.

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8 Comments

  • Reply fromcouchtofinishline May 16, 2012 at 3:07 am

    Your posts always crack me up!

  • Reply erin May 16, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    you’re the best…lol

  • Reply Jackie May 16, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    Awesome Jules!…please keep sending these to me. I will be missing this like crazy šŸ™

  • Reply Cheri June 3, 2012 at 8:00 pm

    My son called out from the back of our van “I’m going to do the F word”. We were shaken to say the least – but asked gingerly “What are you going to do?” “Frow-up” was his little response! We decided that he was a genius with a speech impediment!

    • Reply dailybee2 June 3, 2012 at 8:06 pm

      Haha! Kids are awesome. Never a shortage of blog fodder!

  • Reply Kelly Davis (@the_beef_queen) July 12, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    My neice loves the movie Stuart Little. Of course, one of the characters is a falcon. Way to go, movie writers. They could have picked a crow, or another intimidating bird to be the villan. We were in McDonalds, and she decided (randomly) to say to my mom, “Mimi! I don’t like falcon!” The only downside? She can’t really pronounce the a or the l, so (naturally) it’s replaced with a u sound. The outcome? She sounded like a 2 year-old who is extremely against physical contact. HA! The best part is I videotaped it. Can’t wait to break that out when she’s 18.

    • Reply dailybee2 July 13, 2012 at 12:33 am

      Hilarious!! This made me laugh out loud, so funny!!! Glad you got that on video…

  • Reply Murdercycles and Lesbians – Kids Say the Darndest Things | TheBedfordWife September 16, 2015 at 10:00 pm

    […] It’s fascinating and downright hilariousĀ (I’ve written about this beforeĀ in Cocks on the Wall.) […]

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