Dear Man At the Gym who Keeps Talking to Me Even Though I Never Make Eye Contact with You,
Thank you for recommending that ab exercise that you think I should be doing.
Thank you for pointing out the fact that I’m running on the defective treadmill, and suggesting that I move to the treadmill closest to you.
Thank you for staring at my breasts – reminding me that I forgot to pack a sports bra today.
Thank you for being so F&*CKING annoying that I ran for 1.5 miles on level 5 without stopping. A new record for me.
For that reason, and that reason alone, I hope to see you there tomorrow.