After 5 minutes of yelling, at the top of my lungs, from the shower for Todd to bring me a wash cloth…
He brought me this.
Rather, he flung it at me over the shower curtain, running back out to get Colt some milk.
It was a crunchy yellow single-ply rag.
Once a vacuum-packed block covered in shrink wrap.
Purchased by me, from the dollar store, along with 10 others of various superhero and sport themes. A bribery tactic to get my 3-year-old to bathe.
Now these bargain buys are tucked amidst the luxurious Ralph Lauren wash clothes from our wedding registry. The ones I chose because of their high thread count. Woven to boost absorbency and warmth.
The sad part is I used it.
Without a second thought, I lathered up and scrubbed down with a baseball-themed fabric napkin. Then carefully hung it up to dry. So I could use it again tomorrow.
What happened to my showers?
They are a vague and distant memory now. I think they used to be like 20 minutes long?
And sooooo hot. Because I wasn’t running a load of dishes and a load of laundry at the same time.
I used to shave my legs AND wash my hair, and take my sweet time doing it.
Now it’s a race against the clock.
I furiously shave one leg as Colt bangs on the door. Nicking the sh&t out of the other leg as he MacGyvers it open, and pokes his little head inside the curtain.
He stares at my naked body, dumbfounded. Like it’s part of Frankenstein’s Experiment.
So different from the way his father used to stare at my body in the shower.
Sorry, maybe that’s TMI.
And don’t think I’m above using the Spider Man body wash. I’m not.
Luckily it smells like raspberries and has exceptional lather. Not unlike the mango shower gel I used to buy from The Body Shop when I was young and rich and didn’t realize it.
When I used to buy body wash AND shave cream.
How frivolous of me.
So what that on any given Tuesday, you can lift up my navy Limited slacks and find a dozen Sponge Bob band-aids plastered over razor wounds?
I’ve earned them.
And I’m clean, aren’t I?
And I’m happy.
Maybe even happier than I was when I was younger…and smoother.
And I smell like a freaking super hero.
So I’ll take that yellow rag (which is actually so rough that I can exfoliate with it!) and be glad about it.
And I’ll see you outside the curtain.