Husband: What does “SMH” mean?
Me: I don’t know.
Husband: Well, people keep saying it on Facebook. We should figure out what it means.
Me: I’m sure it means something gross… like “Suck My Hoo-Ha.”
After consulting a friend (and mother of two teenagers) I was relieved to find out “SMH” actually means “Shakin’ My Head.”
Maybe kids these days aren’t as dirty as I thought.
Recently a coworker’s daughter asked if I knew of any cool places for 18-21 year-olds to hang out.
Except she didn’t say, “Do you know of any cool places for 18-21-year-olds to hang out?”
She looked at me and said….
“We want to get turnt up tonight. Where can we go?”
Translation: “We want to get loose. Wild and excited.” (Could also mean ‘we want to get wasted, high, or engage in sexual activity.) But we won’t tell her mom that.
Frankly, I was flattered she even asked.
I started to answer, but then realized I had nothing to say.
Because I haven’t the SLIGHTEST idea where one would go to get “turnt up” these days.
If you want to know where all the coolest toddlers are hanging out…where the juice flows like wine…where everyone’s passed out by 2 p.m…
I’ve always thought it was weird that neither of my parents had an appreciation for 80’s music. They were in their thirties in the 1980s – they should have been at the peak of coolness.
But my mom can’t name ONE SONG by Queen, or Duran Duran, or Journey. Why? Because she had a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old at home.
If it wasn’t on Raffi’s Greatest Hits album, she wasn’t into it.
And now I totally understand.
But I’m trying to stay cool. Like I really like that song by Lil Jon…”Turn Down the What.”
It’s “Turn Down For What.”
Translation: “Rhetorical question used by teenagers. “turn up” is the act of getting drunk and high and being reckless so “turn down” would mean sobering up. Turn down for what is really saying i am Fu*&ed up and will continue to be all night, no matter what.
On second thought, maybe I’ll switch back to the Frozen sound track.
And just “Let It Go.”
THAT song doesn’t have any secret meanings, does it?
Surely, Elsa’s not “letting go” of her virginity or anything crazy…
O.L.A.F. isn’t an acronym for Open-wide Lusting And Freaky?