They are both taking up space next to my bed.
I had to chuckle at the diverse collection of books piling up on my nightstand (I removed the dozen water cups in front of them, so you could see what I’m talking about.)
I just celebrated my 32nd birthday. And I think this photo perfectly sums up my current life status.
I’m either really well-rounded or profoundly confused.
Most likely the latter.
There’s always a fashion magazine nearby, or “grown-up picture book,” for the nights when I can’t comprehend actual thoughts (and because I’ll be damned if I end up a middle-aged-mom-jeans-wearing frump!!!)
Then there’s the “Real Estate for Dummies” book – purchased by my father after I casually mentioned an interest in the topic. I’m still not sure why he didn’t send me “Real Estate for Geniuses?”
There’s also a fertility guide (I’m sure you can figure out what that’s for).
And a memoir written by one of my customers about her time in the PeaceCorp, nestled next to a Christian-based book on making wise decisions in the midst of endless demands.
The last three books are a bit “heavier.”
Todd always knows when I’m reading one of the “heavy” books because I inevitably end up sobbing and mumble-yelling incoherent thoughts at him.
[Sniffle, sniffle] “Did you know that people in Botswana live on $15 a month!!!! We are so selfish and ungrateful in this country. We should join the PeaceCorp!!! Seriously!!!” [Sniffle, sniffle]
[Sniffle, sniffle] “I feel guilty. Maybe we should try a Catholic church next!!?” [Sniffle, sniffle]
[Sniffle, sniffle] “After five FREAKING years, I FINALLY decide to get pregnant, and I can’t. What is wrong with me!!!!!!” [Sniffle, sniffle]
So much for being emotionally stable at this age.
Actually, I might be bat-sh&t crazy.
Holly Madison is on top (no pun intended) of my book stack – writing about her time as Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend.
This book has absolutely nothing to do with my past or my future (hopefully, anyway).
Oh, don’t act like you’re not curious.
Aside from that last guilty pleasure, I think these books reflect my struggle to be a loving wife, better mother, good Christian (or just a good person, for that matter!), have a successful career, and do something that matters in this life.
And if I could make room for a little Playboy SEXINESS in there, that would be OK too?
Let me tell you, the struggle is real!
Here’s to 32 more years of not knowing what the hell I’m doing, but muddling my way through it…
One book at at time.