Our "new" pets
Parenting

You’re Not Getting a Pet. You’re Getting a Sister.

Colt asks me for a pet 10 times a day.

Every time my answer is the same.

You’re not getting a pet. You’re getting a sister.

But mom!

You’re not getting a pet. You’re getting a sister.

But mom!

You’re not getting a pet. You’re getting a sister.

But mom!


I’ve had pets. I get it.

They are sweet and loyal. They provide companionship and teach responsibility.

Before I got married, I had a cat.

She was a big fat, fluffy cat named Loopy, and besides the roaches, she was my only companion in my first apartment.

Then Todd moved in, and during the three months we lived in sin, Todd coughed and sneezed and whined about hoooowwwww allergic he was to cats.

I was in love, so I gave Loopy away.

(It turns out Todd isn’t actually allergic to cats, he just doesn’t like them.)

First came love. Then came marriage.

Then came the house and the obligatory “pre-child” pet.

An iguana.

Just kidding.

A puppy, duh.

She was a French bulldog and the greatest dog of all time.

We did everything that young dog-obsessed couples do.

We talked to her in baby talk.

We let her sleep with us.

We bought my parents gifts from their “grand dog.”

But when the human baby arrived a couple of years later, our priorities changed.

We gave our Frenchie up for adoption, and when I think about it, I still get really, really sad.

So I completely understand why Colt wants a pet.

It’s just that I’m not confident I can manage a husband, two children and a domesticated animal.

In fact, we had a few fish last year…

One by one, they all came down with the “fish flu” and had to take a swim down the River Toilet.

There were a lot of tears.

We had to have a fish funeral.

The empty tank remained in Colt’s room like a mausoleum.

An ever-present reminder of my failure as a pet mother.

He immediately asked for more fish. A turtle. A snake. An iguana. ANYTHING, MOM!

You’re not getting a pet. You’re getting a sister.

You’re not getting a pet. You’re getting a sister.

You’re not getting a pet. You’re getting a sister.

I want to believe I’m doing the right thing. Yet, I see all these other moms driving their SUVs with the 4-kid, 2-dog, 1-cat stick-figure vinyl decals, and I wonder…

HOW DO YOU KEEP THEM ALL ALIVE?

Financially, for one?

We already have “Mexican” night once a week in our house, where we celebrate Hispanic heritage with an authentic meal of beans and rice.

And “Asian” night with Ramen noodles and frozen vegetables. (Mom tip: This recipe can also be used on “vegetarian” night.)

See, themes make being poor more fun!


Finally I came up with a solution to our “pet”dicament.

I dug out my childhood turtle collection. One by one, Colt and I unwrapped the figurines.

He dusted them off as I told him all the places I’d travelled to get them.

The turtles have a new home in the fish tank.

Brilliant, right?!

I’m sure my good fortune will only last a short while.

Sooner than later, he’ll realize he can’t cuddle the turtles. They won’t lick him, or play fetch with him, or bark at him.

But hopefully by then he’ll realize his sister will do those things.

Well, sort of.

You’re not getting a pet. You have a sister!

You’re not getting a pet. You have a sister!

You’re not getting a pet. You have a sister!

Previous Post Next Post

You Might Also Like

1 Comment

  • Reply Lynn September 1, 2016 at 2:41 am

    Our grand-dog, Bellatrix, is a French bulldog and would love for you to come by and visit! 😉

  • Leave a Reply

    Scroll Up