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Baby

It's like Noah's Ark
Baby, Birthday Parties, Children's Toys, Love, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Toys

For Ships and Giggles

Colt has this adorable little friend, Landon, and today was his 4th birthday party.

The party was pirate-themed, so I expected the usual plastic flags, metallic beads, head scarfs.

And sure, there was all that…

Oh, and A LIFE-SIZE-WOODEN-CUSTOM-MADE-PIRATE SHIP [insert choir of angels].

Um.

Do you know what we had at Colt’s pirate birthday party?

Eye patches.

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Sexy ogres...
Baby, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Sex, sex toy, Women

How to Spice Up Your Marriage While Watching TV With Your Kids

If you have kids at home, you likely spend a good portion of your day watching TV.

And thus likely spend a good portion of your day feeling like you live in an insane asylum.

The high-pitched voices.

The squeals of laughter. The over-exaggerated disappointment.

“Oh noooo, Alpha-Pig is toooo scared to go down the slide. What arrrrrrrre we going to do?”

Blugh.

And for whatever reason,

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Colt at the Park
Baby, Love, Marriage, Mother, Parenting

After all, it’s his butt right?

Colt was swinging at the park when a couple of other kids walked up – a little girl around 5 years old, and her younger brother.

They were just like all the other kids. Except the 5-year-old had hot pink hair.

The mother caught me staring. “Oh, I like your pink hair!” I said to the little girl, lying.

“Yeah, I let her dye it whatever color she wants,”

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Look at the ridiculous size of this shape wear
Baby, Beauty, Dating, Fashion, Love, Marriage, Pregnancy, Sex, Shopping, Women

My Love/Hate Relationship with Spanx

Funny things happen to your body after you have a baby.

Even if you get back to the same “size” you were pre-pregnancy, your parts are all in slightly different locations.

Things are a little…. longer…and a little… lower…than they were before.

Not only do you have an actual baby to worry about now, but you also have all these jiggly bits to manage.

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Colt in his Kitchen
Baby, Love, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Toys

Siri Lives in My Kid’s Kitchen

Today I bought my son a play kitchen.

Yes, times have changed.

When I was a little girl they only made kitchens in pale pink and purple. Today marketers recognize that lots of women are staying late at the office and just as many men are at home making dinner.

Such is the situation in our home. Mommy is often working late, and Daddy is usually home making dinner. 

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Baby, Love, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Pregnancy, Sex, sex toy, Weight Loss

An hour a day? Who has time for that.

Colt was only a few months old. His acid reflux was keeping us up at night. I hadn’t slept more than a few hours in…

I stumbled into the break room at work for my morning coffee. Half conscious. It took every ounce of energy I had just to shmear my bagel.

I overheard two colleagues discussing an article they’d read on weight loss. How in a couple of weeks you could lose two dress sizes.

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Baby, Love, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Pregnancy

Pregnancy. Meh.

I am a mom. I have a 13 month-old little man, Colt. And he is awesome. Well, he can’t walk yet, but he can unlock my iPhone, which is awesome.

My friend Jennie says you’re either a baby person or a kid person. I am not a baby person. My pregnancy was great, don’t get me wrong. The birth? Easy as pie. But I like the fact that I can put him in time-out now.

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