It was date night.
The sitter had arrived. I’d flown in from work, changed into my “hot” jeans, spritzed on some body spray, poofed my hair and prepared for lift off.
Without saying goodbye to Colt, Todd and I snuck out of the house. Tiptoeing. Like the cold, heartless parents we are.
Is it selfish to want to avoid the cry fest that ensues when Mommy and Daddy leave?
It was Sunday. Good Christians were exiting Fellowship Halls. Families were sitting down to supper. And heathen-women like me were entering make-shift strip clubs.
A male review disguised as a “movie theater.”
I’m gonna be honest. When my mother-in-law told me we were going to see Magic Mike, my first thought wasn’t about Channing Tatum’s loins.
It was that I could sit. For 2 hours. Without Colt calling my name 20 times a minute.
I’ve always had an aversion to hair.
At age 9, I discovered a mound of grey curly hair sitting atop the eggs and bacon of my breakfast sandwich at Waffle House. Since then, I’ve had a full-fledged phobia of hair, and Waffle Houses.
It’s probably why I wear my hair in a pony-tail most days, despite the fact that I spend countless hours highlighting, conditioning, straightening and coiffing it to look like one of Kim Zolciak’s wigs.
This past weekend one of my besties got married at the Renaissance Vinoy Resort in beautiful downtown St. Petersburg, FL.
I knew it was going to be a high class affair, and I also knew I’d be spending some time with my just married, child-free friends who still have money… and abs.
I prepared in every way possible. I bought a new dress (albeit a $24.99 dress from Forever 21), purchased new accessories,
Funny things happen to your body after you have a baby.
Even if you get back to the same “size” you were pre-pregnancy, your parts are all in slightly different locations.
Things are a little…. longer…and a little… lower…than they were before.
Not only do you have an actual baby to worry about now, but you also have all these jiggly bits to manage.