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Love, Marriage

A New Life for the Bedford Wife

I’d like to think we tried everything to save our marriage.

Couples therapy until we were blue in the face.

More quality time. More time apart. Family vacations. Medication.

Hoping. Praying. Having a baby.

I posted beautiful family photos on Facebook and wrote funny blog posts. Maybe the Internet could help me create the life I really wanted.

We met the summer after freshman year of high school,

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Baby, Marriage, Pregnancy

When Life Gives You Lemons

Pregnancy makes you want some weird sh$t real bad.

It started with lemonade.

But that was just a gateway craving.

Then I experimented for a while with straight lemon extract. (There’s an extensive collection of empty plastic fruit under my kitchen sink.)

Now I’m eating WHOLE lemons – everything but the peel. Sometimes more than one a day.

I’ve tried to keep my addiction a secret,

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Food, Marriage, Parenting

Valentine’s Day at the Awful House

These are places I hate to go – listed in order of least to most hated.

  1. The flea market
  2. The state fair
  3. Waffle House
  4. Chuck-E-Cheese
  5. Golden Corral

The common denominators? Pickup trucks and dirty fingernails.

My husband loooooooooves Waffle House.

(He actually loves all of the places listed above.)

He likes the cheap coffee, the single-ply napkins,

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Marriage, Parenting, Travel

Beach Babe or Bag Lady?

There are many blog posts on what to bring on a family beach trip.

Posts like “How to Pack the Perfect Beach Bag in under 30 minutes” and “The Ultimate 10-Item Beach Packing List” and “7 Essentials for A Family Day at the Beach.”

We took our son to the beach the week after Christmas (because it’s 90 degrees in the dead of winter) and I can tell you, all of these articles are…ahem…crap.

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Books for days!
Marriage, Parenting

What Does the Peace Corp and Playboy have in Common?

They are both taking up space next to my bed.

I had to chuckle at the diverse collection of books piling up on my nightstand (I removed the dozen water cups in front of them, so you could see what I’m talking about.)

I just celebrated my 32nd birthday. And I think this photo perfectly sums up my current life status.

I’m either really well-rounded or profoundly confused.

Most likely the latter.

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This is what guilt looks like.
Marriage, Parenting

Mommy and Daddy Busted at the 7-Eleven

Last night was Colt’s soccer practice, and I admit…

I didn’t want to go.

I wanted to want to go, but I just didn’t want to go.

I was exhausted from work and what I wanted to do, was go home and sit on the couch, alone.

I wanted to watch anything but football, or baseball, or Disney channel.

I wanted to put on my pajamas and not wear a bra.

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aging, Marriage

My Husband is Head Over Hanes for Me

Husband: “Your underwear are heinous.”

Me: “What are you talking about – these are from Victoria’s Secret.”

Husband: “Well, I hope you got your senior citizen discount when you bought them.”

Me: “Just because they are full coverage doesn’t mean they aren’t sexy. Look at this fun pattern!”

Husband: “Mmmm, nothing like faded pink elephants on boxer briefs to turn me on.

And look…

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