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Pregnancy

Somebody bring him a Shirley Temple on the rocks!
Baby, Parenting, Pregnancy

Give a Boy a Registry Gun…

We wanted Colt to feel invested in the process of preparing for our new baby, so we brought him with us to register for a few necessary items.

We didn’t expect him to hijack the scanner for the entirety of the process, but I should have guessed.

A “gun” that shoots a “laser beam?”

And anything you scan magically arrives at your house via UPS, and you don’t have to pay for it?

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Baby, Marriage, Pregnancy

When Life Gives You Lemons

Pregnancy makes you want some weird sh$t real bad.

It started with lemonade.

But that was just a gateway craving.

Then I experimented for a while with straight lemon extract. (There’s an extensive collection of empty plastic fruit under my kitchen sink.)

Now I’m eating WHOLE lemons – everything but the peel. Sometimes more than one a day.

I’ve tried to keep my addiction a secret,

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Health, Love, Marriage, Medicine, Menopause, Mother, Parenting, Pregnancy, Sex, Women

The Dreaded “Annual”

There’s nothing more exciting than an annual visit to the gynecologist.

The day when you get to be extra late to work because you have to go answer a bunch of really uncomfortable questions about intercourse and self-breast-exams and your family’s medical history. And then walk around all day with a gallon of KY Jelly oozing out of you. Asking yourself …why the hell did I decide to wear a skirt today???!!!!

Before you even see the doctor,

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Boho Chic Inspiration Board
Beauty, Fashion, Friendship, Mother, Parenting, Pregnancy, Shopping, Women

The Ween-ager Stage

A few weeks ago my adorable coworker, Brittany, came to me… frustrated.

She’d been shopping for clothes and NOTHING fit (welcome to the club, right?)

“Where were you shopping?” I asked.

“Macy’s” she answered. But with more prodding, I discovered, she’d been browsing the JUNIOR’s department [insert gasp].

Well, there’s your problem.

She’s 24 and in that weird stage between being a teenager and a woman (when you’re getting your master’s degree,

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See what I mean?
Love, Marriage, Menopause, Mother, Parenting, Pregnancy, Sex, Women

I Have Feelings for My iPhone. And Publix.

I used to be calm. Cool. Collected.

But something happened when I got pregnant, and I lost complete control of my emotions. (And my bladder. But that’s a whole other post.)

Anything sad, sweet or remotely HUMAN – and I become a hubbering, blubbering mess.

I have not watched a single movie since Colt’s birth that hasn’t made me hyperventilate.

I cried at The Hangover.

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Look at the ridiculous size of this shape wear
Baby, Beauty, Dating, Fashion, Love, Marriage, Pregnancy, Sex, Shopping, Women

My Love/Hate Relationship with Spanx

Funny things happen to your body after you have a baby.

Even if you get back to the same “size” you were pre-pregnancy, your parts are all in slightly different locations.

Things are a little…. longer…and a little… lower…than they were before.

Not only do you have an actual baby to worry about now, but you also have all these jiggly bits to manage.

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Baby, Love, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Pregnancy, Sex, sex toy, Weight Loss

An hour a day? Who has time for that.

Colt was only a few months old. His acid reflux was keeping us up at night. I hadn’t slept more than a few hours in…

I stumbled into the break room at work for my morning coffee. Half conscious. It took every ounce of energy I had just to shmear my bagel.

I overheard two colleagues discussing an article they’d read on weight loss. How in a couple of weeks you could lose two dress sizes.

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