I was delivering letterhead to a little medical clinic when the marketing director offered to give me a free body scan on their new fancy schmancy BMI machine.
Awesome, I thought! Definitely a perk of the job!
(I had done this before at Publix waiting for a prescription, but this machine was different. Fancier…)
Classical music flowed from its speakers. It was probably pumping out pure oxygen.
I stepped onto the machine and a few moments later,