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Whims and Fancies

A Condiment Intervention

I have an inappropriate relationship with condiments.

Ketchup, gourmet mustard, vinaigrette dressing, garlic butter, ponzu, Worcestershire, spicy mayonnaise, relish, DIP DIP DIP!

I could smother my body in remoulade and hollandaise. It’s just. so. delicious.

And I’m pretty sure it’s the reason I’ll never be thin again.

Some people have a beer belly. Some people have a Béarnaise belly.

Our refrigerator was full,

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Marriage

Not All Meals Are Epic Failures

But this one was.

I looked over at my son who was moving the grilled chicken around on the plate, less than enthusiastically.

And then over to my husband, who was choking down a lettuce wrap with even less enthusiasm.

I thought, where did I go wrong?

But that’s when I saw it.

Its bulging, iridescent eyes staring back at me.

A big.

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