My 4-year-old’s favorite food is crab legs.
That’s right. Alaskan snow crab legs.
The stuff of 5-star restaurants and reality television shows.
I’m not sure if it’s the delicate white meat, or the fact he gets to use tools at the dinner table.
(He recently told me he wanted to grow up and work at Home Depot, but I’m thinking he may want to reconsider.)
Champagne taste on a beer budget.
I have an inappropriate relationship with condiments.
Ketchup, gourmet mustard, vinaigrette dressing, garlic butter, ponzu, Worcestershire, spicy mayonnaise, relish, DIP DIP DIP!
I could smother my body in remoulade and hollandaise. It’s just. so. delicious.
And I’m pretty sure it’s the reason I’ll never be thin again.
Some people have a beer belly. Some people have a Béarnaise belly.
Our refrigerator was full,
But this one was.
I looked over at my son who was moving the grilled chicken around on the plate, less than enthusiastically.
And then over to my husband, who was choking down a lettuce wrap with even less enthusiasm.
I thought, where did I go wrong?
But that’s when I saw it.
Its bulging, iridescent eyes staring back at me.