‘It’s the night before Christmas, and all thro’ the house,
Every damn person is stirring, both upstairs and down.
The stockings are hung on the entertainment center with care,
I wish someone else would fill them, so I could go wash my hair.
Because I believe that holidays that mean absolutely nothing should be celebrated with all of the exuberance and creativity of Christmas morning.
Really, I’m just looking for an excuse to eat more desserts.
“I’m sorry [insert personal trainer name], but you know how it is around Groundhog Day.
There are sweets everywhere. Cookies, fruit cakes, figgy pudding…
And with all the stress of the family in town,
Our little city hosts several fun family events throughout the year – Sunday in the Park, the 4th of July Parade…
The annual Christmas Tree Bonfire.
At nightfall, families gather at the park to watch the city’s hottest firefighters set our dead trees ablaze.
And I literally mean hottest firefighters. This blaze gets so hot, you might as well wear your bathing suit under your parka.
(I imagine the guys that work the “bonfire”